A true love story


This is the story about a little spotted horse that stole my heart when I was just 12 years old. It is Yule-tide and time to express love and appreciation to the people we hold dear. She is definitely one of them. Here is the long story of how she entered my life! It’s the first time I am writing it out completely.
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When I found her she was doing time at the local riding school where I just started to attend lessons and was sick of life. She was depressed and didn’t really seem to live. For some reason I started to like her, even if the rest of the people there disliked her (mainly because she stopped in the middle of the riding pen every now and then and was kicking with her back legs when they tried to get her going, they used to throw gravel at her so she would move at all 😦 ). I was also heavily bullied at the time so we became the two outcasts together! She was the tired old horse and I was the weird and awkward kid.
The first time I was assigned to ride her at the riding lesson I cried out “Noooo!! Not TOSCA, that tired old hag” (yep, I remember so clearly I said that). I had listened to what the others had said and seen her on my lessons to have that opinion. She was not a pleasurable sight at the time.
But something happened. She seemed to accept me better and I started to like her, despite her negativity and sad outlook. I started to feel sorry for her. And it hurt my heart to see that she was just as unwanted as I was.
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She was the lowest rank outside with the other horses as well and they used to push her away from the hay. She had to go inside the stable at 12-13 already because she was assigned to do the handicap lessons as well. After that she usually went 2-3 lessons in the riding house every evening. She was working hard and seemed to accept her fate and was just…. like dead. No sparkle in her eye, no entusiasm, nothing. She had just accepted the situation and was protesting in a very quiet manner. And her personality is very humble so I guess that was the reason she was still there at the school. She was a good asset because she didn’t protest when beginners sat on her. She was too depressed to protest.
I started going to the stable every day after school. It was a relief I looked forward to after hard days in the school at the time. Even if I was bullied in the stable by the other girls too, Tosca was there and that was all that mattered. I even made a few human friends there because Tosca got me out of my shell a little bit.
After a while we won a riding school cup together! Even if people didn’t think we would make it. I guess the judges gave us so high points because I made her look active and was able to get her where I wanted (wasn’t too easy back then because of her negative mindset). People started to notice that we liked one another.
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But then jealousy sparked among the other girls. They tried to push me away from Tosca. I got trust from the riding school boss to take care of Tosca in the weekends and take her out in the forest.
When she later got injured, I was the one to look after her and get her into shape again. I spent many of my high school-years-evenings with her, usually coming home around 9 in the evenings after being in the stable from 4 in the afternoon. I had no social life besides the stable (and I didn’t want to either because I felt so awkward around other people, these days I have realized I have had social phobia that has gradually gotten better), Tosca was my only “real friend”. When I also started going to martial arts-classes (jiu jitsu), I was never at home. First the stable, then I took my bike or simply walked to my exercise 3 times a week. I usually came home around 11 in the evenings. Friends was very sparse for me.
After 1.5 years of taking care of her at the school she was finally sold to me and became the best 14th birthday present ever! Tho I was warned that she probably wouldn’t live much longer because she had been injured twice during 6 months during her last time there. They said that she might be dead in 5 years. She had even recently kicked the riding school boss so bad in her wrist that she still has problems with it today! That is how sick she was of everything and I was warned she might not survive for long.
That was 12 years ago.
But the problems didn’t end there.
There was a rumor among the horse-society in town that I was treating her bad and the riding school was going to buy her back from me. Yes, I had been tutoring her in public at some point but she needed it because she was so stuck in her negative mind and I had to show that she couldn’t fool me. But that sparked tension among the “less knowing”. I knew what I was doing but they didn’t. She needed frames, she needed to be pushed to do things that was good for her. She needed to be taught how to live again and at times I was very hard on her. It was a learning process for both of us.
I hid away in a smaller stable with her and slowly tried to get her back to life. She didn’t even want to leave the stable. We had many fights. She didn’t even know how to behave in the forest. She was scared and didn’t want to relax, always aspiring to go home at the first chance she got. Many times I thought about giving up but I never did. Despite blood, sweat and tears and MANY hours in the stable and on her back, I never gave in. These days I have no idea how I managed. She was so stuck in a rot that people usually don’t believe me when I tell them. Especially not about the kick she threw at the riding school boss.
But slowly but surely, her personality started to form (as well as mine).
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It took 4-5 years before there was a change in her personality and she became much happier and much more alive. Before that it felt like she thought I was going to give her back to the school soon and didn’t want to relax (she had been off for summer leave earlier and probably thought this was an extended summer vacation). It was a twist from one day to another actually. I still remember it. It was autumn, it had just started to get colder and she was suddenly happy and energetic! I had no idea who she was or what she had done to the old Tosca. I think it finally clicked in her brain and she realized she never had to go back there.
Later, I also discovered that she could pull a carrier and from then on we started to do that as well without difficulty. It was the first activity she actually seemed to enjoy at the time.
Many years later with love and patience, it’s not the same horse!
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She always makes me smile and we have been together half my life and half of hers as well soon (13 years). She is old but still young. Her mind is experienced and she has the nobility of an old lady, but she is active like a much younger horse (probably because I never stopped riding her more than shorter periods at the time). Her mindset has slowly went down in age. She feels younger now than she did 13 years ago. We have grown back to life together. We have both regained our lives together. I have tackled my social phobia and hard teenage years and she has become more alive and happy during that time. She kept me alive during my big depression a few years ago. Because of her, I am alive and I am sure she is alive thanks to me too.
She can be a little stiff in her injured hips (injuries that she got when she was young) some days but she is still very well preserved to be approx 90+ years old in human age. She knows what she wants and I usually let her have her way (almost) because she deserves it after all these years.
We are still riding actively and except a small fall two weeks ago when she hit her back leg and was limping for two days (she is completely ok now, it was just a strain), she has never been injured since the time at the riding school.
My baby!
My everything!
My Tosca!
God Yule to you all and I hope you enjoyed our story. Hopefully we have more years together to look forward to. One year at the time.
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Pictures are from a photoshoot we had today, the 23rd of December 2016. Images shot by my fiancee Pauli Souka.

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//Paulina Medepona and Tosca
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Ragnar Lothbrok (Travis Fimmel) fan art (from Vikings)


I am finally done with my Ragnar Lothbrok-drawing (and shot a somewhat-good picture of it, which is hard in this time of the year in Sweden I tell you, unless you have a big studio with light-bars in the ceiling (which I don’t have x)), still not entirely satisfied with this image I shot of it but it’s the best I can manage right now 😉 )!

Here is the progress of it (from my Instagram):

I got details in slowly and the end result can be seen here (sort of, the light flare is bigger than in the actual drawing on some parts, especially in his clothing):

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It turned out good and in my normal manner I slightly changed the image but without loosing the “feeling of Ragnar”.

The “screenshot” is from when Princess Aslaug appears on the pier in Kattegatt for the first time and Ragnars life will forever be changed. Intense moment indeed.

I enjoyed doing this big portrait (almost an entire A4) with many details, which I focused on mainly in the face.

Now I will work on with my Christmas orders 🙂

Best wishes

//Paulina Medepona

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Almost Christmas


And here I am, working my ass off on Christmas gifts! I can’t show them until after Christmas so I can’t show you that much right now, they will be published after the Yuletide 😉

Well otherwise then? I have been working my ass off (as usual, went up in time after the summer vacations from 72% to 90% and that leaves me wanting to relax, clean the house and just… BE on my spare time) and just been drawing sporadically. The darkness of the wintertime gets to me (especially since the snow we had in November melted away til yesterday when it came back and the snow always brings my spirits up) and my motivation has been low to draw, have felt a bit… slow (and I guess many artists can relate to that feeling once and a while, you are questioning your skills and why you want to draw in the first place x)).

When I am in a drawing frenzy I usually draw a lot, when I have inspiration and such, but sometimes the inspiration is limited because your brain is just tired from your “normal life”. And living off my art is nothing I do (I am doing it just for fun) so therefore it goes up and down in periods.

Here is an unpublished photo I took last Christmas, “Julbocken” (with the tradition of the Scandinavian Christmas ram in mind) for you for now 😉 Today I will tho start with some new drawings and try to take a good photo of my latest artwork of Ragnar Lothbrok from Vikings (when it’s winter it’s also hard to get the best light to photograph the new artworks as well so that is ALSO a reason why my inspiration goes low x))!

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“Julbocken” by Paulina Medepona Arts

Best wishes
//Paulina Medepona

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Croquis-mania


I tried something new yesterday!
I have got into croquis-classes, and started out as being the model.

Croquis is basically a group of people around a podium with a nude model on that changes position in different intervals and allows the gathered artists around to draw quick sketches of the angles and poses (for those of you who doesn’t know).

It was the first time I tried anything like it (after I got recommended from a friend I thought it would be fun to try because he use to stand model as well) and it was a blast!

Next week I am going back to be a part of the artist group to draw sketches. Later in December I am also going to do some more “podium modeling”, besides part-take in the course itself and draw bodies and shapes alongside with the others.

The course takes place at Silvanum, the contemporary art-school in Gävle and it seems like I have more stuff coming up there in the future. It was nice to finally take the big step and get in touch with other artists “in person”. This “modeling job” was the “spring board” into another thing in my artistry!

Human bodies and shapes has been my main interest for years now and now it’s time I start interacting like this, taking courses to get some more input, tips, tricks and meet other artists.

I have been so insecure about my art til now and not wanted to take part in courses, classes etc. because I have been ashamed (honestly, yes…). Those days are behind me and I am ready to mingle and interact and learn new stuff from another input than my own!

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Nude posing by me from earlier this year but not from this session on the podium.

New things are moving and it’s exciting! 😀

(and by the way, this was awesome therapy for my bad body image! I think I am cured or something 😀 It has felt so much better during the recent year and this was like a “high point” in my “therapy”)

//Paulina Medepona

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The (Heath Ledger) Joker and current projects update


For once I did what I said I was going to do in my previous entry; I was going to draw a scene from Christopher Nolan’s Batman. And I did!

This is the Joker-scenery I chose and the progress of it;

As you can see in the beginning I have stuck something in the paint and I did. I experimented with kitchen-paper and Acrylic paint on top of the paper and then I made the coat on top of it with Promarkers and ink pencils. It actually made the coat pop in the way I wanted it to and I am sure I will use this “technique” more in the future.

All I HAVEN’T done yet is a proper photo with my camera. The main reason is that I am working nights on my regular job and here in Sweden the daylight is very limited (which is best when shooting the artworks) so I haven’t had the possibility yet to get it done during daytime.

I have already started to sketch my upcoming artwork (before getting into the Christmas-orders I have this year). This one will be of Peter Steele (Type o Negative) from his (in)famous Playgirl spread.

On my Instagram I post regular updates of the progress; Paulina Medepona

I also have a Tumblr and Facebook with the same name if you are interested.

IF you would like a portrait or artwork to give as a Christmas-present, mail me at paulinamedeponaarts@gmail.com and tell me about your ideas. My regular fee is 600 kr (ev. plus shipping).

That’s it for now, I have more things coming up related to art in the near future.

//Paulina Medepona

 

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Immortan Joe (Mad Max – Fury Road) fan artwork


This is the finished product of my long hours with this screenshot from the film Mad Max – Fury Road.

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Immortan Joe fan art, made from the film Mad Max – Fury Road with Promarkers, ink pencils and acrylics.

The images below are from the process of making it;

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The image shot with my mobile camera when the touchups where done.

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It took many hours and some experimenting to get things the way I sort-of wanted them to look. The step by step-images will help me in the future with similar artworks to remember how I built the artwork up.

Next time I am thinking of doing something from the new Batman-films. People are complaining about them but I say they are not THAT bad. And the characters are more real and less “cartoony” as it is. The Joker in Christopher Nolans Batman is my all time favorite movie villain. He is just perfect in every way and a very dark version of the Joker, which appeals to me. And not to mention the films in themselves. Very artistically vivid with great colors and color-schemes.

When it comes to the Tim Burton-Batman, I am more a fan of the second film, Batman Returns, where Burton has been allowed to roam free within his creative universe. It is gorgeous and I am a HUGE Tim Burton fan as many of you know already. I will maybe do something from there also at some point, like the Penguin or Catwoman (she beats the Nolan-Catwoman every day of the week) but for now I will do something from the Nolan-Batman.

Til then
//Paulina Medepona

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Back in business


Time has passed since I had my exhibition at Mörkaste Småland 2016 and it went very well!
I sold a lot of prints, some originals and a painting I did during the festival!

I have during the last month been moving into the apartment of the top floor in my house where my tenant since 10 years moved out recently (I own the entire house and its garden but have just lived in the bottom floor apartment til now) so artworking has been less of a priority in favor for getting the top floor liveable together with my husband (since he moved in this summer). Now it feels like we have gotten somewhere and I can start getting back into “art mode”, so I will show more what I am doing from now on.

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Me and the hubby with the painting I made during the festival of Gaahl (and sold during the same festival). Picture from CrankItUp by Jolle Ingbrand.

Here are some more pictures of me from the festival that I haven’t published here on wordpress (all pictures by Captains Archive and CrankItUp.se);

I have fixed my camera now so I will try to make blog posts more often now when I am artworking, I am doing a lot from time to time and now I will do even more because I just moved into a new art studio in my house where I can have my pens spread out just how I want it and I don’t have to pick them away from the kitchen table all the time when I have people over! It is amazing in fact 😀

Til then!

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Paulina Medepona  Arts

Yours truly
//Paulina Medepona

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