The “curse” of being engaged


(Personal rant, no that much art-related)

Yes, there is a curse to being engaged. I have experienced it too much recent weeks since it got really public with me and Pauli’s engagement! You know why?

As soon as people got to know about it, they backed off my face “with hands up” (figuratively speaking). Got grumpy at me. Thinking I am wasting my life, that my life is over, that we have nothing in common anymore and so on. And some of you can barely even have a conversation with me anymore even if we where good friends before. You just snap at me, or being insanely cold. Like I have done something terrible wrong, like killed someone or that I am the unwanted stray dog.

I MEAN GROW UP!
Or realize what you treat people like.

 

You know nothing (you know just as fucking little as John Snow if not less).

WHY
Is it common “knowledge”
That “when you get engaged your life is over“?!
That “when you can’t shag whoever your want, your life is wasted and over, when the ring is on your finger you are DOOMED to live in hatred, regret, agony and no freedom what so ever til you die or break it

I am still the same with the ring on my finger. I am “me”. And I am still not the jealous person. And neither is he. We can hang out, be friends, all that, like we used to. Nothing has “changed” more than that I am out of your “to fuck list” (which I am so GRATEFUL to be written off from, thank you). If you hung out with me just hoping to get laid, well… Not that much to build on to begin with so… (bye bye)! If you think we can be good friends besides having sex, well, I am ready to try. Are you? Or is your brain too stuck in the “Must have sex-routine”? I am not a blow up sex doll. I am a person.

And WHY do people think you have to drop your entire personality to get engaged?
– If you have to, you have probably chosen the wrong partner to begin with!

Engagement shall be about choosing the most suiting person possible to live your life with. And that is not the easy part. You have to know yourself for real first. The moment I knew who I was and wanted to be (sort of, at least the right DIRECTION I want to walk at last), I knew what I was looking for in another person. And then I found Pauli. If destiny exists, this was certainly destined.

Pauli chose me for just who I am, as I chose him. He doesn’t want to change my personality. And I don’t want to change ANYTHING in his either. We want to help eachother PROSPER, to GROW.

You probably think I am just so full of it that you can barely stand my guts right now.

Ever since I got engaged people have dropped off. Like I have leprosy or something. That have made me question MANY of my so called friends. It was clear I was just like a one-use tissue. You used me, you moved on. OR you live in the illusion that people go boring when they get engaged….

If it’s the last statement that is actual, please let me know. I am still me! Just with an additional family member.

I got engaged (young they say but I am 26) because:
1: I found my perfect match
2: I am so sick of dating around
3: I am sick of dating
4: I am sick of “temporary sexual/emotional connections”
5: I am in love with this person and can easily see myself spending the rest of my life with him.
6: I realized all these statements because I feel I have found myself at last
7: I found a person who would agree with all 6 above

 

My choice. My life. Shut the fuck up. LEARN something.

Go fix your own life while I am PERFECTLY happy over here with mine, thank you!

I will always try to develop myself, my life, my art, my personality and the engagement won’t stop this from happening. I might even be able to develop even better now when I can drop the stress of dating and “finding someone” (because I have already done so).

agony_and_strenght___when_death_calls_my_name_by_paulinamedeponaarts-da0zsaj

STFU

//Paulina Medepona

Advertisements

About PaulinaMedeponaArts

Art creator with many projects going on! Drawings, paintings and photography. I paint/draw concert- and film images for fun, very keen on portraits!
This entry was posted in Other and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s